It would be quite unsettling to think that years of diligent effort to raise our children in a well insulated, rightly ordered environment might still find us "off center", having missed the intended target. There are stories of a mysterious "Bermuda Triangle" phenomena of home schooling, where somehow the hearts of children are suddenly lost without a clue as to what happened. Young families looking with awe and admiration to those "super moms and dads", whose older children were role models for their own little toddlers, are being left confused by the always easily explainable; moreover, the subject is often too painful to even discuss. The last thing any of us want to hear is that "there are no guarantees." Most home schooling families made the decision to teach their children at home based upon the biblical promise, "Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, the will not depart from it." We want this hope to be sure, because "hope differed makes the heart sick."
The biblical record is not a glossed over account of glory reconstructed without the failures of the main characters. We know all about Abraham and Hagar, Lot and his daughters, Judah and Tamar, David and Bathsheba, Solomon and his 700 wives. God made sure we would have a record of the difficulties His people faced in this life, in fact scripture admonishes us to "Remember the days of darkness, for they will be many." Where are all the first generation home schoolers: have they all done well, are they all living vibrant, godly lives filled with thanksgiving for the years of faithful instruction received through the sacrificial love of their parents? Are we afraid to ask, or are we tempted to gloss over the glaring failure of some of the people we had held in such high esteem? It is better to ask now, than to ignore the reality of what has happened with more than just a few home school families. What can go wrong? What do we look for? What can we do about it?
I am not claiming to have the answers; instead, my desire is to provoke us all to consider some of the dangers. To claim there is a "fail safe" methodology would be to promote a myth. Scripture tells us "He that thinks he stands firm, take heed lest he fall." Paul never presumed that everything would be okay with those he had labored among. He agonized in prayer for them, he sent fellow workers to inquire about their faith, and expressed great relief and joy whenever he received a good report about those who were always on his heart. We would do well to learn from his godly concern, and avoid the costly mistake of over-estimating our own progress. It is far easier to measure the mental retention of children than to ascertain the hidden condition of their hearts. Answer keys for science and math, are far easier to use than the keys we must use to weigh their heart condition. We must know what promises are based upon. It is foolhardy to claim a promise while ignoring the conditions upon which it is given. We are not given many promises that are based upon academic success, intellectual achievement, and scholarly status. God's promises are based upon conditions academics do not automatically develop: the fear of God, righteousness, holiness, obedience etc. With this in mind, we must know what mark we are aiming at, lest we find our academic bull's eye is not lined up with the heart pleasing spirit that is guaranteed God's blessings.
One of the dangers we must become aware of is the "exaltation of knowledge." There is a great difference between information and "revelation"; only God can reveal truth, wisdom, and understanding. Jesus was the stone "the builders rejected;" the experts in the law were His greatest adversaries, while the prostitutes, publicans, and tax collectors adored Him. The most biblically educated Jews stumbled over the stumbling stone, and refused to submit to God's righteousness, because they did not know the righteousness of God that comes by faith. If the mark we are aiming at is "raising our children in the nurture and admonition of Christ", we must avoid treating Christianity as a spiritual discipline of continually learning biblical principles. Christianity is a relationship with the living person of Jesus Christ, not a lifestyle of ever escalating spiritual levels achieved by apprehending higher and higher principles. The righteousness of God is experienced through living in intimate communion with the person of Jesus Christ. Let us beware the danger of attempting to establish our own righteousness based upon "knowledge of the facts" without knowing communion with the person of Christ. Teaching principles is far easier than instilling a "passion to know Christ"; if we are not careful, we will achieve the former while missing the latter.
Another pitfall to be avoided is the assumption that our children need "peers" other than their parents. The bible warned that "evil communication corrupts good morals", but just because other children are home schooled does not mean that our children will be safe with them. Christians are warned to see that "there be in none of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God." Evil communication is any communication that would undermine the pure and perfect heart that God's eyes run to and fro throughout the earth looking for. In the same way that Satan used Eve to entice Adam to sin, the Devil can use other children to introduce desires to your children that lead to their downfall. This is especially true of older children who have begun to drive and experience more unsupervised time away from their parents. There is a grave danger in your children developing relationships with other seemingly innocent teenagers. A child's best friend should be his parents, beware the danger of allowing children to develop intimate relationships outside the immediate family. One warning sign that indicates that our children are already in grave danger, is withholding information. When young people have any friendship where it is discovered that concealment has occurred, the friendship should be scrutinized immediately. The idea that young people can be more open with their peers than with their parents should not apply to a godly home.
Perhaps the deadliest danger to avoid may be a direct result of the decision to home school, the danger of pride. It is unwise to compare ourselves among ourselves, and yet home schoolers feel this pressure from the very outset. We are stepping outside the current societal norm, so children schooled at home know that they are different, and that they are a part of a special movement. We must guard them from any false notion of superiority, and minimize the spirit of competitive comparison between "us" and "they." Our goal is to discover the simple joy of being found pleasing in God's sight. Our reward is having His blessing and living in a home where righteousness and peace can be daily experienced. The last thing we are trying to accomplish is promoting the very thing that led to Lucifer's downfall, and yet if we are not careful, "knowledge will puff up".
I never intended for this article to be an exhaustive study of all the dangers home schoolers may face; instead it is hoped to stimulate careful consideration of potential problems, and some protective measures that can be taken to prevent the loss of our children's hearts. If academics are our primary goal, we are blessed with a multitude of good materials to help us achieve excellence in education. Before we make that our primary aim, we need to ask ourselves whether this is the main reason we chose to home school them. Solomon is famous for building the Temple of God, but he is also infamous for building temples to Molech, Chemosh, and Ashtoreth. Intellect without integrity will produce the same results; so will principles without a passion to know Christ.
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